“The road to hell is paved with good intentions”

Hell isn’t a hot and fiery mythical place

but rather the space we live in that is the opposite of where we want to be.

Hell isn’t a hot and fiery mythical place but rather the space we live in that is the opposite of where we want to be.

Hell is created and destroyed in our heads then projected.

What we intend to do is often based on the the best of who and what we are – our most energetic, our most empathetic, our most generous, our most motivated and productive…

When we can’t act on those intentions, there is little left but guilt, self recrimination, self-doubt, feeling untrustworthy…

Hell is the destruction of the mind and soul.

So imagine having a chronic illness that affects one’s mind and body…depression, anxiety, uncontrolled diabetes, heart disease, an inflammatory disease…

Every promise, every good intention becomes a minefield.

So our choices are to never intend to do anything…

Don’t make promises…


Or allow yourself to seek the place where good intention and abilities cross…and live there as long as you can.

And give yourself grace – forgive yourself – when they don’t cross. Not as an excuse, but as true understanding.

You cannot destroy yourself for anyone’s expectations, not even your own.

But be open. Don’t hide. Ask for help and grace.

Those who understand are your people. Those who don’t understand, are not.

But that cannot be determined unless they know.

We cannot heal until we know ourselves.

To paraphrase MLK: The opposite of Hell isn’t Heaven, it’s Peace.

Published by Catherine Harmon Toomer, M.D.

My name is Catherine Toomer M.D. 20 years ago, I was obese, insulin dependent diabetic, depressed, and with pregnancy related congestive heart failure. I was given a 50% chance of living 5 years. I had babies and wanted to see them grow up so I lost 60 pounds almost 20 years ago and have kept it off ever since. I am no longer on insulin, I can exercise without risking heart problems, I have energy to live the life I want, but most importantly, I am here for my family. I am a Family Medicine and Community Health physician who founded Health Wellness and Weight Loss Centers - a telemedicine coaching and counseling service that helps those who are overwhelmed like I was, feel well like I do now.

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